November

Staring at the sky, he senses summer’s end. The yellow leaves, and fleeting light that breaks in such a way it makes everything feel like it’s a miracle. Rohin is almost overtaken by the beauty of it all.

He walks up the mountain, taking small paths, getting lost. He can’t help but think about his dad. A man he loved greatly and to whom he never got to say a proper goodbye. A phone call from his mom weeks ago let him know.

Lost in his thoughts, mourning, thinking, wishing, he steps on a rock and rolls his ankle. He kneels down, and feels the sprain. He tightens his laces to stop the swelling.

He hears someone approaching, but then the footsteps stop. He turns to look. There he sees a figure. Blue and round. Its thin arms and legs look like drawn sticks. It raises an arm and waves. It smiles and blinks its beady eyes at Rohin.

They stare at each other.

“Hello sir,” says the blue ball. 

Rohin is startled.

“Don’t be afraid.”

“I don’t understand what is happening.”

“It’s okay that you don’t understand what’s happening.”

Oh my god, it can hear my thoughts.

“Yes.”

What the fuck is going on?

“I think we are having a conversation.”

What is this thing? What are you?

“I’m Blueberry. I live here now. I think I came from the sky.”

“Blueberry?”

“Yes, I am Blueberry. I am here to save you.”

“What?!”

“You need a girlfriend.”

Rohin laughs. “I don’t need a girlfriend.”

“I am your father.”

“I don’t understand what is happening,” says Rohin, baffled. 

“Well, I am the essence of your father.”

“Oh my god. Dad loved blueberries.” Rohin feels a sudden surge of overwhelming emotions.

“Yes. Your nickname is Pickle Butter.”

“Oh no.”

“Pickle Butter,” Blueberry continued, “as your father, I think you need a girlfriend.”

“Listen, I don’t know what the fuck  is happening but I am totally fine! I’m a functional human being! I go to work, I pay the bills, I do my laundry, and what?! I’m just supposed to meet someone right now? Walk down the mountain, run into someone, and ask her to be my girlfriend? And what!? You’re my dad??”

“Yes, Pickle Butter.”

For a moment they just stare at each other.

“Are you telling me I’m going to walk down this mountain and meet my potential long-term partner?”

“Yes.”

Rohin scratches his head in frustration.

“Rohin, I am just a magical blueberry. I represent your father. I know everything about you. I know who you are, and I know who you want to be. Listen to me. You are about to walk down this mountain and meet someone who will have a significant, positive impact on your life. Don’t ruin it.”

“Ruin it?”

“Stop thinking about what you never got to say to me. I already know.”

Rohin’s eyes well up, and tears start to fall. He can’t help but cry. He puts his hands on his face as his body lets go, he cries.

He feels release. His eyes are wet when he lowers his hands, but slowly his breathing comes back to normal.

He looks around and is surrounded by beautiful yellow trees, on an obscure path, in a wooded area on Mont Royal. Alone.

Blueberry is gone.

He takes a deep breath, and looks around. He wonders about the hallucination.

(He knows it wasn’t a hallucination.)

He considers walking up the mountain, but his ankle hurts, and he decides to walk down and join a main path.

A father walks with his son and daughter. They are all dressed in sporty autumn clothing. The father is laughing.

A woman jogs by. He wonders if it’s her. He stares a bit too long. She looks back at him. He turns away, embarrassed.

He puts his head down and pulls his hoodie up. More people pass by. He stares at the ground and keeps walking, with a limp.

He stares at the scattered crowd, people all living their lives — laughing, smiling, talking, walking. He thinks about his father and how much he loved him. He wants to cry again, and starts to well up.

Blurry eyes, his foot lands on another rock. He feels the sprain again and kneels from the crippling pain. He thinks of Blueberry.

Someone taps him on the shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Rohin turns around. A hand reaches out as he shield his eyes from the sun. He grabs ahold and is pulled up.

“Gotta watch out for these little rocks. They’ll get you if you’re not careful.”

Squinting, blinking, Rohin sees a middle-aged man in a Yankees cap, helping him to his feet.

“You okay, son?”

Rohin nods, though he feels unsure.

“Yeah… I… I guess I’ve had a weird day. You’re right, I need to be more careful.”

Rohin tries to take a step but keels over in pain again.

“Looks like that ankle’s pretty wound up. Sofia, take a look at this, quick. My daughter’s a nurse.”

Behind him, a young woman smiles. She is eating blueberries.