Letters To The Editor

Each issue, Galaxy Brain Magazine will feature a selection of letters to the editor. If you wish to write Galaxy Brain to heap the institution with praise or money, or simply to make an observation or comments, please send your letter to: mm@michaelmurray.ca

**************************************

A friend sent me your pic. You’re hot, and since we come from the same place I thought we could meet. You can see my big tits right here:

https://bit.ly/3na9b2u

Kiss kiss Carlise xo.

****************************************

To the owners of The Galaxy Barn:

I rented your facility for a birthday party for my son on January 7^th and I am so pissed-off about the experience I can barely type, now a week after the event! First off, it was fucking freezing! We thought for sure your barn would be heated, but apparently that would be too much trouble for you thieves! It was more like a haunted house than a Planetarium– a drafty, broken hovel full of feral animals, disease and horny, maskless teens dry humping in fake hay bales! Also, there were only three planets painted on the ceiling. Earth? No. Saturn? No. The moon? No. Luranimus? That’s not even a fucking planet! Such bullshit. And later, when some barn owl up in the rafters regurgitated part of a mouse onto my foot, the DJ dude with the microphone described it as a meteor crashing to earth. “ Run, dinosaurs, run!” he shouted. Sweet Jesus, if I don’t get a full refund of my money I am going to burn this shit hole Galaxy Barn to the ground.

Think I’m bluffing? You just test me.

Joseph Anderson

***************************************

Look Pickle, I know you’re working hard on your Gravity Blog right now, but you have to stop turning off your phone. First, you don’t get any calls. Like, ever. And second, if you were ever to get a call it would be IMPORTANT. Like this. Anyway, that’s why I’m writing you here. And look, there’s nothing to worry about, so put the Lorazepam and weed down. I’m over at Nicole’s with Jones right now, and the provincial government has just announced a new policy regarding kids returning to school. It is now a mix of virtual and in-person learning that they’re calling “Virperal” learning. The kids go to school and sit in the classroom with their iPads while the teacher, in another room sealed off from the Covid, instructs them through their own iPad. Apparently science says this is the perfect mix of safety and socialization. Safelizing, they call it. Don’t worry, I’ll look after it, but could you take some pork chops out of the freezer for dinner tonight?

Love Rachelle, xo