I had a very interesting insight into the nature of consciousness a few night’s ago I wanted to share. Have been on the fence about sharing this personal experience, but think ultimately people will find this intellectually interesting at best and simply amusing at worst.

So, I love edibles. But the edibles I do are usually only at about 5-10mg of THC content. I accidentally purchased a snickerdoodle with abnormally high THC content. I didn’t realize until a second after I ate *most of it* that the single cookie was at *100mg* of THC content! ?

So, just imagine it from my perspective. I am full aware that in about 2 hours from now I will be hallucinating and in a complete state like I’ve NEVER EXPERIENCED in my life. That I would have a trip that is considered veteran-level and I didn’t plan this. What would YOU do?

So since I was still in my normal conscious state, I sought out various opinions from my friends. The consensus seemed to be to check into the emergency room and ride out the biggest trip of my life under monitoring conditions. So that’s what I did. I took an uber to the ER.

When I arrived to the ER, I was already starting to trip. But I was also having a panic attack. I couldn’t coherently tell them why I was there. The nurse takes my pulse with the machine and says “Oh wow”. And I’m like “Oh wow WHAT??” She checks my pulse with her hand to confirm.

They immediately take me back to do an EKG. I can’t tell them what’s wrong. By this point, people look like aliens to me and I feel like I’m half dreaming and half awake. I have NEVER experienced this state of consciousness before in my entire life.

After the EKG they have me sitting there in the waiting room. I’m at PEAK hallucination / trip. It’s been 2 hours since I ate the cookie. They had me waiting there for a full *hour and a half* before seeing me. At this point I decide to just calm down and WITNESS THE EXPERIENCE.

Let me tell you: It was FASCINATING. All these years I have academically studied the nature of consciousness. And here I am truly high as the highest kite imaginable (albeit unintentionally). I decided to just lean fully into the experience and become curious about it.

So that hour and a half, the floor was pulsating. I could see beyond the floor into the depths of hell. I saw angels and demons. I was flickering in and out conscious awareness but I definitely went on a imaginative journey. I was truly in an alternate dimension of reality. BUT

Here’s the thing: I think I was seeing things that were truly there in our ordinary awareness but I could more clearly see in my VERY altered state. The floor had certain patterns that were fascinating and without labels or preconceptions I think I saw into the essence of people.

I could clearly see fake smiles and real genuine smiles. I felt the emotions of others. My consciousness was altered, yes, BUT… was it more or less in line with reality? I think that’s a complicated question. Had me thinking a lot about the nature of consciousness afterwards.

Eventually, they take me back and the doctor comes in and asks “What is going on with you?” To which I respond “I’m having the biggest trip of my life”. To which she bursts out laughing. The nurse comes in and says “Can I PLEASE switch places with you?”

They get me a half a pint of water to drink because I am incredibly dehydrated by that point. Also they just leave me in this room in the ER to continue my psychedelic journey in peace. A few hours later, they send me home because I’m starting to feel more “normal”. BUT…

What the fuck is NORMAL!?!? This is what fascinated me about the whole experience. Sorry not sorry for cursing because this experience really messed with my mind and my understanding of the role of conscious experience.

How much do we truly NEED conscious awareness to act in this world: to be kind, to be empathetic, to see the real nature of reality? @annakaharris and I constantly have discussions about whether consciousness is REQUIRED and how much is causal in our decisions.

All I can say is that I’m still processing this fascinating journey I went on a few nights ago. I really feel like I experienced an altered state of consciousness that felt even MORE real than my normal waking life and I’m trying to understand. Thanks for joining me.

his experience made me revisit my academic work distinguishing “explicit intelligence” from the intelligence of the unconscious mind. My Cognition paper from 2010 shows that the two worlds of mental life are uncorrelated: https://scottbarrykaufman.com///wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Kaufman-et-al.-2010.pdf…

Don’t let them tell you that marijuana can’t make you hallucinate. WHOA BOY can it make you hallucinate.