Obituary for My Aunt’s Mother

We regret to inform you that Cuc Xuan Nguyen passed away on Friday January 27th, 2023, in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), Vietnam.

Cuc Xuan Nguyen was born on the 10th of April 1930 at Rach Gia in southwest Vietnam. The fifth of five children, after her Mother died in childbirth, Xuan was brought up by her father’s cousin and her husband in Saigon, who were otherwise childless and became her life-long parents. In fact, her birth father who was a classical musician and musical scholar, subsequently remarried twice, first with seven more children, then with eleven more children.

Xuan went to French schools in Saigon, but these were tumultuous times with the Japanese occupation, the continuation of French colonization and the struggles against French colonial rule. That’s how she came to meet the great love of her live, Nguyen Lau (1925-2010). The high school students from the French Lycée Marie-Curie, studious during the term with their French teachers, went clandestinely into the maquis (jungle) on the weekends and especially over the summer (a maquis summer school for the resistance) to train to fight against the French. There’s a romantic tale of this meeting, worthy of Marguerite Duras, where during an air raid a handkerchief lent by Lau to care for a slight wound incurred by Xuan was a pretext for subsequent visits to inquire after the good health of this young beauty and, somehow, on each visit, he invariably neglected to retrieve that handkerchief, thus providing a pretext yet again for a further visit without compromising Xuan’s virtue.

There is a book by Patricia Norland, a former American diplomat, entitled Saigon Sisters: Privileged Women of the Resistance (Cornell University Press, 2020). This book recounts the tales of nine Marie-Cuie classmates (Xuan and eight others) – all great friends – who went into the maquis in this way and what became of each them over subsequent decades. There are two chapters on each “sister’, one from the time of the resistance and the second of their subsequent lives. The title can be explained by the fact that these sisters were all the daughters of the Saigon elite who found a common bond in their rejection of French colonialism – the more so because they were classmates in an elite French lycée – Marie-Curie (where Xuan’s daughters later went to school).

Both Xuan and Lau went abroad (not least, to avoid the risk of being arrested at the time by the French authorities), and studied first in France, then in England. Xuan’s travels to England followed Lau’s arrival there – both wanting to renew what had been sparked in the jungle and subject to family disapproval. It was very far removed from an arranged marriage as their first-born, Chau, arrived a month after their official marriage in London in 1952. Lau studied first at Oxford (PPE) then law at Lincoln’s Inn. Xuan, who was originally to have studied medicine, drew on her musical roots, practised relentlessly and was admitted to the Royal College of Music. It’s difficult to imagine now the obstacles they had to overcome to make this transition into British universities of that time. Two of their children, Chau and Trinh, were born in the United Kingdom while their parents were students there. The two later additions (Uyen-Uyen and Vy) were born after their return to Vietnam. Needless to say, these four children provided ample reasons for family reconciliation beyond the initial doubts about this enduring romantic liaison.

Xuan was one of the rare music teachers trained abroad and taught continuously for fifty years, both at the Conservatory of Music where she became director of the Piano Department and privately, from her initial return to Vietnam in 1957. She often said that the changes in government and regime had no impact whatsoever on her teaching. Moreover, she was an elegant role model for her students and colleagues. She had many students who made great achievements in international piano competitions. Moreover, legions of her devoted students went on to be teachers, establish music schools and replicate and expand on what Xuan had taught them.

Xuan also ensured that her family were safe and well. When her husband’s work as a journalist led to his three-year imprisonment, which was much chronicled in the international press at the height of the Vietnam War (ex. on his release in the New York Times : https://www.nytimes.com/1971/11/12/archives/jailed-publisher-released-by-saigon.html), Xuan was instrumental in ensuring his safety by reaching out to the international community of journalists in Saigon so that the news of his arrest was widely publicized and did not result in a simple disappearance. These contacts led to a life-long connection with a family of British journalists who welcomed Xuan’s daughter (Chau) when she too went to study in England.

While visiting her children, their families, and their many friends abroad on a number of occasions, Xuan and Lau continued to live in Vietnam and enjoyed the company and support of their youngest son (Vy), his wife (Trang) and grandson (Kevin) with whom they lived in Ho Chi Minh City.

Xuan’s surviving children (Chau and Trinh), daughter-in-law (Trang), grandchildren (Simon, Sao Maï and Kevin), extended family, and friends greatly regret the passing of this refined and highly accomplished woman of distinction who gave so much to her children, friends, and students alike.