My Balls Are Killing Me

Words Chris Robinson,
Pictures Andreas Hykade

 Each issue of Galaxy Brain Magazine will contain an instalment of Chris Robinson’s book, “My Balls Are Killing Me.”

 You can read the first instalment HERE 
The second HERE
The third HERE  
The fourth HERE.
The fifth HERE.
The sixth HERE.
The seventh HERE. 
The eighth HERE. 
The ninth HERE.
The tenth HERE.

This is the final instalment

16- Starts at the River

Mr. Pimp sits outside  DoctorWizard Bob’s office. Above him is the same testicle illustration.

“Please come in,” a voice announces.

Mr. Pimp enters and sits in the reclining chair. There is a spark and some smoke. Doctor Wizards Bob and Tobin appear through the foggy smoke trails.

“Well…hey kid, we have some news,” says Doctor Wizard Bob

“Yes, some big news,” says Doctor Wizard Tobin

“Your tests all came back clear. Markers and levels are all normal”

“So it’s gone?’ mumbles Mr. Pimp, as though talking only to himself.

“Yes,” says Doctor Wizard Bob.

“Now, for the next five years, we’ll have you in twice a year for blood work, chest x-rays and CT scans,” adds Doctor Wizard Tobin.

“It’s finally gone,” says Mr. Pimp, not listening to the Wizards.

“After that,” adds Doctor Wizard Bob, “We’ll go down to one check-up a year. And at 10 years, we can probably cut out the CT scans.”

“I mean, that’s it… “says Mr. Pimp as though reflecting and reviewing the entire experience.

“You seem disappointed,” says Doctor Wizard Bob.

“I dunno, I guess I expected the happy ending would be more exciting. It just all feels anti-climactic. Maybe I hoped there wouldn’t be a happy ending. That would have been the easiest. Now I have to go on….”

Mr. Pimp removes his hat. He takes a deep breath and sighs. Then he sobs. He sobs up a storm. Water fills the room. Finally, the rushing water carries Mr. Pimp, still seated in the lazy boy chair, out of the room and into a river. Doctor Wizards Bob and Tobin grab onto each side of the chair. Soon, Athena, Calypso, Cardinal Barry, and Soarin’ Churchyard are all on the chair.

As they float, Mr. Pimp speaks: “Thank you all. You got me through this. It wasn’t easy but it was needed. But now, it’s time for you to go.”

One by one, each character dives into the river until all that remains is Athena.

Athena speaks…” You’ve come through and now comes the difficult part, going on… on your own…. 

“To have been very close to making the leap is nothing whatever, precisely because the leap is the category of decision.”

Athena does a graceful backward dive into the water.

^—–1 Søren Kierkegaard: Philosophy of religion by Conway, Daniel W, Gover, K.E., Taylor & Francis 2002, p. 220—–

Mr. Pimp floats alone before finally rising. The rain stops, the clouds part. It is nighttime, but the sky is clear and the stars shine bright. There is no one, no thing around. 

Standing on the chair he dives into the river. 

After a moment of darkness, Mr. Pimp emerges and begins to swim on ahead, alone.

 The End.