Nightclubs in Russia

What are Russian nightclubs like? 
well
all nightclubs are the same the world over
But in my mind I go 
back 
St Petersburg in the snow
a tiny filthy dive
middle of town
tucked away
we’d never have known
except kids in laundromats with turntables 
told us 
where to go
or, he knew to ask
because he’d been to New York, my Isco
married a Sydney goth so
us two, with X marked
on a tourist map
spasibo
Russia in November
was it an error?
No white nights, no Christmas lights
just an evening lit by
baroque twists on streets
where I’d earlier 
tilted at gold-tipped onion domes
and interiors showing
fat cherubs on celestial ladders
ascending holy clouds 
in holy corners
(the Neva
was everywhere that day)
here though
the latest electro
mid-noughties LCD and The Fall
toilet down the hall
no window
just a gap. All our 
new best friends 
politely looked aside
– even when they like you
Russians don’t smile – 
the best talk
is always in the queue
was it even plumbed?
I don’t know
dirty, derelict and gorgeous
by now
we knew everyone
even 
that loud American 
who is at every nightclub
and wants to kick on
to the commercial place
where three floors of
aggressive Eurodisco 
compete with
sickly-sweet Zombie drinks and
testosterone leaks through 
a non-slip diamond-plate floor 
offering obliterated sex
with fuck-bus teammates
not for us
slide back to our hotel
over snow and snatches of Spoon
I turn my camera on
Y’made me untouchable for life
Next day’s pain is
an endless loop 
of Ace of Base 
in the breakfast room
(I saw the sign, and it opened up my mind 
– like a jagged tin can maybe)
skid to the museum
frozen slush of
late morning and
languishing 
in another lineup with
Hermitage-size hangovers
a frosty wait
for hours… 
inside
iconic, unmissable, must-do date
oh, but:
“We close early today”
like a Russian cliché
you must obey
running through chambers 
cramming my eyes with
art and empty opulence 
I find Isco in the Rembrandt room
“This is all I needed to see,
this is enough, for me.”
Fifteen years later
it plays again
I turn my camera on
and she asks me
about Russian Nightclubs
I only say
“Nightclubs are 
the same everywhere”
because I can’t explain
how they are, da
yet some 
become indelible
an urban electro fairytales
Untouchable. For life.