Finding My Way Back To Happiness

The adventures of a recovering Addict and the trials taken to find ones old self

I remember sitting in my methadone drs office waiting room yrs back …

It was always along wait . If your appointment was for two you could expect to be seen around 3 and so what culminated was a room full of addicts wanting to find freedom from their addictions but onlyy had one thing in common to talk about . DRUGS

And so I would paint ,,, I would bring my watercolour paints , brushes and paper and Id grab 2 Styrofoam cups from the counter and fill them with water from the water cooler that stood under the biggest wide screen tv I’ve ever seen. It always seem to be plying dr Phil lol . Perhaps it was ment to give everyone at least one reason not to talk about drugs or drug dealers or times you were fucked up on drugs.

But something magical would happen when I painted. Peoples eyes were drawn to my page as it transformed right before them and even through my headphones which I wore to block out all those conversations from a world I no longer wanted to be present in, I could still feel the presence of something great filling the empty spaces between all of us and I could feel all that burdened each one of us leave the room and we were left only with this magical dance of water and colours blurring and mixing, and a 2-3 hour wait seemed to vanish into only a few mins. And this one special day when I was called in for my office visit I removed my headphones a gentleman said to me how long was it before you found happiness again after your addiction?

Everyone in that room understood that question … and wanted the answer to that question … as if I had some bag of tricks or some words of wisdom

Because that is what drugs truly does to ones soul it robs you of everything you felt joy from and nothing can ever compare to the thing that wants nothing more than to consume your soul.