Chapter 1: How Another Red Sweater Would Complete Me

Chapter 2: Fuck Gratitude Pages

Chapter 3: Now That Everyone is Using Reusable Bags, My Virtue Seems Diminished

Chapter 4: Sneezing Horses

Chapter 5: Being Named Hall Guard of the Week in Sixth Grade

Chapter 6: My Failure to Attract More Parent Friends in the Playground

Chapter 7: Middle Aged: Fact or Insult?

Chapter 8: If I Were in a Movie, Would My Character Get an Upbeat Soundtrack by Bill Withers?

Chapter 9: Any New Psychotropics I Should Try?

Chapter 10: Does Talking to Plants Really Help or Are There Other Variables at Play?

Chapter 11: People Who Claim to Read Nietzsche

Chapter 12: The Intriguing Happy Trail on the Insurrectionist Who Stormed the Capital in Viking Horns and a Pelt

Chapter 13: Surely, Someone is Mad at Me