THE BERLIN PRESENTATION

In October 2009, German business newspaper Handelsblatt received a closed-circuit video recording of an evening meeting at the Berlin Tourism Association. Four men were in attendance:

Lukas Ravoth, 52, President, Berlin Tourism Association

Gerhard Kleinmann, 45, Director, Berlin Tourism Association

A1 and A2, Berlin advertising professionals (names have been withheld by families due to an ongoing civil case)

This is the first time that the video transcript, made by the Berlin Police, has been made public.

RESTRICTED TRANSCRIPT

CLOCK READS 19:44:33 18/05/2009

Four men stand at a boardroom table. Ravoth fills several glasses from a decanter.

Laughter, indistinct low conversation.

Ravoth: Yes, it’s unusual, but that’s Berlin.

He passes the glasses to the others.

Ravoth: Another thing you might find unusual is having a drink before an advertising presentation. But it is cocktail hour… and I am of the feeling that if the mind is lubricated, your ideas have a better chance of sliding through. No?

A1: Well said! I thought I was the writer here!

Laughter.

Ravoth: We’ll judge that soon enough. I’m teasing of course, your work is superb.

Ravoth raises his glass.

Ravoth: A pinch of Schnapps to welcome a delicious new era of Berlin tourism… and greater understanding.

A1 and A2: Here, here!

Kleinmann: Understanding?

They all drink.

A1: That’s… powerful.

A2: This is Schnapps?

Kleinmann: What is this, Lukas?

Ravoth: It’s three hundred Euros, Gerhard, that’s what. It’s very rare.

Ravoth and Kleinmann sit down. A1 and A2 sit near an easel.

Ravoth: Let’s begin. Tonight’s meeting will have two outcomes: Berlin will become the destination of choice for a very specific traveller who could go anywhere to feed their primal hunger… and I will become famous. Agree?

A1: Correct on both counts.

Kleinmann: Well, it’s not really “primal hunger”… it’s food. We want people who love food to think of Berlin.

Ravoth: It’s semantics, Gerhard. And yes, it’s food, a food that only Berlin can provide, correct?

A2: Absolutely. Think of it this way: When you think Berliners, you think food.

Ravoth: Hmmm… I love that. Gentlemen, you have 10 minutes.

A1: We’ll only need five. We have two very strong directions.

A1 rises then seems to slip on his feet.

A1: Oops… a little wobbly there.

A1 stands next to an easel where large presentation boards are facing backwards.

A1: The world we are dealing with needs to be approached with a careful mix of provocation and discretion. If we are opaque we will confuse: if we reveal too much, we invite unwanted attention. The solution?

A1 turns a board over. It shows a moody photo of a handsome man wiping his mouth with a napkin. A1 reads the words that are on top of the photo.

A1: “Berliners have such taste.”

Ravoth: That’s excellent. Exquisite word play. High-end yet clever.

Kleinmann: I don’t understand it.

A1 turns the next card over to show a similar photo of a woman also wiping her face. He reads the words.

A1: “There’s a Berliner in all of us.”

Ravoth: And one day there will be. Brilliant.

Kleinmann: I’m confused. Lukas?

Ravoth: Let’s see the next idea.

A1: Of course. (A1 touches his sweater.) Did it get hot in here?

A2: Yes, it did. (A2 takes off his blazer.)

A1: This next idea pushes it a bit.

A1 reveals a board showing a bottle and glass of white wine beside a thick steak. He reads the words on it.

A1: “Cold Riesling. Hot Jürgen.”

Ravoth: Now that’s hilarious.

Kleinmann: Hold on, hold on… (To A1) What’s going on here?

A2: What do you mean? We are answering the brief.

Kleinmann picks up a piece of paper.

Kleinmann: How is any of this (He reads from the paper) “a tasteful campaign to encourage elite, food-driven millennials to visit Berlin?” These… crude jokes… seem to be suggesting…

(He stops and breathes loudly.)

Kleinmann: I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well.

A1: That’s not the brief, Gerhard.

Kleinmann: What?

A1: (He shows Kleinmann a paper.) This is our brief. (He reads.) “The international spectacle of the Armin Meiwes trial has cast a negative spotlight…

Kleinmann: Armin… Meiwes? Armin Meiwes? The cannibal?

Ravoth: Anthropophagist.

A1: (Reading.)… a negative spotlight on a proud and accomplished German custom that desperately needs a new image.”

Ravoth: Meiwes, Karl Denke, Peter Stumpp… they should be household names!

Kleinmann repeatedly jabs a pen into his thigh.

Kleinmann: My legs have no feeling. Like hard rubber. Very odd.

A2’s head and shoulders flop onto the boardroom table. They all notice.

Ravoth: Your colleague is unconscious. (He looks at his watch.) That was quick.

Ravoth gets up and walks away from the camera area.

A1: (Resumes reading.) “The opportunity is to reframe anthropophagy as…

(He closes and opens his eyes.)

A1: I can’t see… It’s all just white…

Ravoth speaks from outside the camera area.

Ravoth: To reframe anthropophagy as the sophisticated, natural, deeply loving practice we have cherished for centuries, not the pilgrim savagery know as cannibalism.

A1 opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. He falls out of his chair and onto the floor.

Kleinmann: Lukas, what have you…

Kleinmann tries to stand up and falls to the floor.

TAPE FORWARDED TO 19:52:08

Ravoth re-enters the camera area, wearing a red hazmat suit and helmet, rubber gloves and boots. He is pushing a trolley which holds surgical implements and wine bottles and glasses.

Ravoth: Well, that was excellent. So, who’s hungry?

Ravoth looks at the trolley and picks up a wine bottle.

Ravoth: Red Pinot. Blue Gerhard. (He looks at A1 on the floor.) You see? Your campaign is catching on already!

Ravoth puts the bottle on the table and bends down to the trolley base, retrieving an electrical surgical saw. He places it on the table, then looks at the immobile bodies.

Ravoth: I said this would make me famous.

He bends towards Kleinmann.

Ravoth: Well, Kleinmann, everyone says you’re a tasteless asshole, let’s find out.

He starts to lift Kleinmann onto the table. He pauses.

Ravoth: When you think Berliners, you think food. That’s very good.

TAPE STOPPED AT 19:52:37 18/05/2009